Saturday, September 30, 2006


No game this week. Va Cavs next week in G-Ville.


Friday, September 29, 2006

Stretch-ing The Truth

Dave. My old friend Dave and I led kind of an interesting existance for a while. A limbo of being broke, sudden windfalls, bad luck and worse judgement. David was/is a good looking guy. I mean good-looking almost to the point of effeminent... Almost. (Think Ashton Kutcher. Dave doesn't look like him, but you get the idea.) Hanging out with Dave made me swear to myself my next close friend would be a troll, but the run-off was great... If you get my meaning.
Dave and I met in the grocery business. I was in charge of the warehouse and stock crew and he worked customer service, computers and the front desk. I never really spoke to him, until I was going to lunch one day and loudly announced that if anyone wanted to come, come now. Dave came. Uneventful is the best I can say. We went to Boli's pizza on 5th, got a pitcher of beer and a stromboli, then back to work. About a week later the same thing... Lunch, now. Dave came. We got a pitcher of beer and ordered the food. The food didn't come. The food still didn't come. By the time the food came, the pitcher was empty. After we finished eating, and drinking the second pitcher of beer we were a half hour late back from lunch. So, we did the only thing that seemed right at the time... We ordered another pitcher of beer. We arrived back at work two hours late from lunch and not a little intoxicated. We would have gotten away with it too if we hadn't forgotten that we took lunch orders for all the girls working in the office. We ordered their food. We paid for their food. We just forgot to bring back their food. They ratted us out. The manager in charge had a wicked sense of justice. He made us work out the rest of our shifts. Man, that sucked.
On the side Dave ran this limo service. A Night Out Limo. Sometimes if I was bored or needed extra cash I would ride shotgun on the big parties. Dave had (aside from the limo) this piece of crap mustang that ran sometimes, at best, and a roomate with no car, Steve.
Dave got us set up on a blind date with these two girls, we were to meet them at the Attic. We met, they were nice, and attractive, and we started to drink and have a good time. After a while they went to the bathroom (together as girls do) and we waited at the table. We waited, and waited, and waited. Finally we realized we had been ditched. (Actually we hadn't- there was just a really long line at the ladies room. The girls really liked us and were having a good time. Needless to say after what happens in the rest of the story they refused to go out with us again, though) So already drinking, and believing ourselves ditched we picked up the pace. Angry and drunk we proceeded to woman bash our way through downtown Greenville. We made our way loudly and obnoxiously to the Sub Station II, a sandwich shop and the last bastion of angry drunks to eat before making their way home at the end of a night. I had driven downtown, but was in no shape to drive back, so we called Steve, who at 1 am was less than pleased to hear from us. Never the less he is on the way. We had been having a heated argument with a table full of drunk girls about the worth of women who would ditch guys in the middle of a date, especially fine upstanding (which we barely could) men of our caliber. They in turn were deriding (and rightly so) our character until...
Into the parking lot rolls this Cadillac super-stretch Limosine. The mustang wouldn't start. Dave and I stroll across the parking lot, still holding our beer and climb into the back. Steve rolls down the divider window and said, "I got my ass out of bed to come get you, where's my (explitive deleted) beer?"
So, I climb back out of the car, go inside to order three more for the road. There is silence at the Sub Station. Every eye is on me. I just turned around, took a swig and looked at the table full of girls we had been arguing with and said, "You just never know, do you?"


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Reel Lines (4)

Cornelius: Well Taylor, we're all fugitives now.
George Taylor: Do you have any weapons, any guns?
Cornelius: The best, but we won't need them.
George Taylor: I'm glad to hear it. I want one anyway.


Monday, September 25, 2006


I just thought this was cool. So I made these. I wonder how long I can go without doing anything of substance here.
It's already been over a year... Ha!

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Down The Mountain

Game Day!
West Virginia @ ECU
4:30pm (eastern) Dowdy-Ficklen Stadium
We're playing real Mountaineers today
not some Happy Appies
Dead honest, I ain't holdin' out much hope.
WV usually hands us an ass kicking.
But... East Carolina is my home, so...
Bet on the team you think will win-
Root for the team you want to win.
14-7 West Virginia @ the half...
Not entirely disappointed. Not elated either.
27-10 West (by God) Virginia final.
They are #4 in the country.

First Down... PIRATES!


Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Irate Pirate

I don't normally do these little quiz things, but...

My pirate name is:

Mad Dog Mayhem

Your vicious nature is complimented by your vicious good looks. A fighter of the first order your battle skills are only marginally exceeded by your ego! Arr!

Get your own pirate name from
part of the network

Monday, September 18, 2006

For Eric

I give you... The Zombie Chipmunk!

Labels: ,

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Don't Mention Memphis

Game day again. First home game.
7pm (eastern) at Dowdy-Ficklen Stadium
Greenville, NC
First Down... PIRATES!
Down 20-7 at the half
Woo-Hooo! Pirates win 35-20!

Cheer for East Car'lina,
Cheer for old E.C.,
We know we're the finest,
Onward to victory!
Cheer for East Car'lina,
Cheer on for old E.C.,
Loyal and Bold,
we're the purple and gold,


Friday, September 15, 2006

Y'all Think I Don't Know...

...But I know. Ya know?

(don't stress if you don't know, it's an inside joke... don't cha know?)

Labels: ,

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Reel Lines (3)

Dega: It seems so desperate.
Papillon: Yeah.
Dega: You think it will work?
Papillon: Does it matter?


Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The Wedding Mafia

Doc, over at All I'm Saying Is..., is having a birthday. So if you havn't been there to congratulate him on his first male progeny, do so when you go say "happy birthday".
In his honor, and in honor of his son, I'm going to tell another tale.
I've already ratted him out once before, so I don't think I can hurt him much with this one.
As I have previously noted, I did a reading at his wedding. So... Before the wedding we had an impromptu bachelor party. Very small, very quiet. Before I get into the tale I need to add some description here. Doc is a big boy. Somewhat over 6'5" and weighing in over 250 he would be really intimidating if it weren't for the normally friendly look on his face. This particular night he was dressed up in a shirt & tie. His friend Havoc is built nothing so much as square. about my height black hair and goatee, broad shouldered and dressed all in black down to his boots. You've seen me when I was a little younger and in better shape, blue eyes, goatee and I was wearing a collarless shirt and a vest. I believe there was one more guy there also in a tie... A lesser character to this particular tale.
Over the years we, as friends, have given each other zippo lighters as gifts. Doc's has a medical symbol and "Doc" engraved on it. Havoc's is black, emblazoned with a skull and crossbones and "Havoc". Mine is a little more simple, a small vertical "K9".
We were out at one of those places where you bring your own beer, and then the wait staff bring it back to you. We picked a little table off to one side, broke out the cigars, popped open a couple of beers and sat back to relax. We must have stood out some, a table of young, well dressed men quietly drinking beer and smoking good cigars and of course it being Doc's night we were all defering to him somewhat.
Havoc was talking to one of the girls working the floor when she noticed the lighters. She looked at his then Doc's. She got kind of a strange look on her face when she picked up mine. "K9? What does that mean?" I always have to have a short remark on hand, and what I said was completely innocent... I thought. I replied, "I'm just a guard dog, honey."
After she left the table a strange thing happened. Our service got better... actually amazing. We couldn't finish a beer without a new one being handed to us. The girls seemed to be paying closer attention to us. It was just odd.
Eventually, as we were leaving the DJ, the bouncer AND the manager came over, shook our hands, thanked us for coming and invited us back any time. Now that was REALLY odd, especially in a place like that.
When we got out to the lot Havoc explained the situation. Looking like we did, quiet corner, big cigars, we stood out. My comment put it over the top.
They thought we were made men. They thought we were Mafiosos. We were The Wedding Mafia.
Happy Birthday Doc. And many, many more.


Monday, September 11, 2006


There are people out there who want you dead. Not just individual people, but organized groups of people. Multitudes of people who don't even know you, want you dead. They hate you. They hate your family, your friends, your neighbors. They want you dead, and are willing to die to get that job done. Do I have your attention yet? Probably. Will I keep it? No chance.

Today is the anniversary of 9/11 2001. It will be on TV ad nausium. Already has been for a couple of days. Do you remeber how you felt when you first heard? You have let a lot of that go though, havn't you? How about when they bombed the USS Cole. That wasn't such a big deal though, was it. It wasn't NYC... It wasn't home. What about the marine barracks in Lebenon? Remember that? Oh, well... That was a long time ago.

These people want you dead beacuse you are a fat, lazy, decadent, self absorbed westerner. They also don't just think they'll win. They know they'll win. Why? Because they have patience. You have adult ADD.

They were afraid of us once. Back when we were One Nation, Under God, they trembled. What are we now. A bunch of back biting, self agrandising, quasi political, partisan cowards.

There are people out there who want you dead. They don't care who you voted for. They don't care if you are a democrat or a republican. How can you forget that? How can you be so careless of your own skin, and the lives of your friends and families that you have to be reminded? They don't even want to convert you like the Nazis did, or the Comunists did. They want you dead. They plan to out breed you, kill you, take your land and home and make the world their own. They want you dead. This is just a friendly reminder.


Sunday, September 10, 2006

Ex Y Z

I mention my ex-wife from time to time, but rarely do I ever give any concrete facts about her. To be brutally honest, I don't have any recent concrete facts about her. I don't know where she lives, I have lost touch with her folks. All I really know is that today is her birthday.
I thought about her the other day and it was kind of a shock. Mostly because I hadn't realized that I hadn't been thinking about her, and I'm not sure for how long. I've been seperated/divorced for longer than I was married now. I'm pretty much over being bitter and angry. I doubt I'll ever trust much again, but then I never trusted much to begin with.
It was just strange, because I used to think about her all the time. A TV show, a movie, a song... Little things, and there she was, in my head.
No so anymore, I guess. I was happy being married. It was a tough thing for her to domesticate me, but once I started thinking plural, it was hard to stop. Even a couple years ago when I blew the engine in my car, "married-man" kicked on in the back of my head. "Now I need to get a sedan, maybe a four-door with good gas milage..." Twenty minutes went by before I figured out that no one could tell me "No" anymore. Hel-lo Jeep.
I suppose a lot of people out there will try to read something into this post. Don't. I was happy being married... I am better off not.
A lot of people have told me since the split that they saw it coming. Maybe. Maybe not. I didn't.
Happy Birthday Shakes, wherever you are.

It’s a sunny day in sunny california
But that old sun it’s shining on me right here at home
It’s one of those days
When those great ideas they just seem to fall out on you
And they always fall the greatest when you’re falling all alone
It makes for a good day for some serious reflection
And massive rationalization
For contemplating the future of the future
And the last of the past
And wondering if you could ever forgive me darling
All the trouble that I put to you
And if I could forget all those questions
That I never asked

And if I could forgive
The temporary weight gain due to excess water retention
I could forgive the rest too
It’s just a fact of life
That no one cares to mention
She wasn’t good
But she had good intentions

So the grass it grows
When the sun it shines
And my face it glows
When the woman’s mine
And you say I’m a fool-around
Honey that may be true
But I’d sooner fool around
Than be a fool for a fool

And if I could forgive
The unadulterated adulterating apprehension
I could forgive the rest too
It’s just a fact of life
That no one cares to mention
She wasn’t good
But she had good intentions

So I’m twenty-six and rising (OK, thirty-seven)
Still too young to live
But too low to go
I guess it’s the process
Of learning to excess
All of those things
That you already know

And if I could forgive
The honey-i-swear-it-didn’t-mean-a-thing-to-me
Attempt at abstention
I could forgive the rest too
It’s just a fact of life
That no ones cares to mention
She wasn’t good
But she had good intentions

-Lyle Lovett


Saturday, September 09, 2006

Alabama Bound

Game day again. Tonight East Carolina squares off against UAB in Birmingham at 7pm (eastern).
If you wanna watch, follow the football link over on the right.
First Down... PIRATES!
Damn... lost 17-12
What the Hell is up with this 5 point thing?
Oh, almost forgot. There is some game here in Austin today, the Longhorns are playing Ohio State or something like that. Somebody said something about #1 and #2. Must be a bathroom thing. Eh.


Thursday, September 07, 2006

Just What The Doctor Ordered

El Doctor, over at All I'm Saying Is... has gone forth and multiplied... Again. Join me in welcoming Silas Christopher to this little green ball. If he inherits ANY of his parents traits, he will grow up to be an intellegent, upstanding human being. A rare breed indeed.
Doc and I have been close friends for many years, and on occasion I crash on his couch when I go back to NC. His wife is a lovely woman (also an educator), they have a beautiful little girl, and they are a friendly clan. A couple of years back I stopped in on them, and as per the past I knocked once and walked in. His daughter was sitting in her highchair eating, and had never seen me before. She looked up from her meal at this stranger standing at the door, smiled and gave me a big old southern "howdy" type wave. A wonderful, friendly, happy, smart family. I make no secret of the fact that I don't care much for people in general, but I am very happy to see folks like these procreate.

Just as an added side note, Doc has started a UNC Good, Bad and Ugly report at his place so if you like Carolina, anyone they play, or college football in general you may wanna stop by.


Saturday, September 02, 2006

Purple Haze

Game day. East Carolina lines up against Navy today at 5:30 (eastern) in Annopolis. Click on the East Carolina football over on the right for the Pirate's schedual, and click on the cstv link there to watch the game on your computer. I suppose there might be other games available, but I don't go in for that sort of thing.
First Down... PIRATES!
14-14 at the half
Damn. Pirates 23 Navy 28


Friday, September 01, 2006

Hot Hot Hot

Someone was disparaging my esteemed Pirates for Appalachian State. This is all I have to say about that.

Buncha Hippies.

Labels: ,