Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Ho, Ho, Huh?

True story.

I was in Albertson's (grocery store) browsing through the wine section when I got the feeling of being watched. You know that feeling... So, I look around and there's this little boy staring at me, 2-3 years old tops. His mom came over and took his hand and said, "No honey that's not him"

I looked around, but it was just me on that aisle. So I asked "I'm not who?"

"He thinks you're Santa Claus, he said he wanted to go see Santa and came over here"

OK. I haven't celebrated Christmas for close to 15 years now. I go home see family, buy presents, but I am a Scrooge, a Grinch. I spent 12 years in the Grocery industry, so all Christmas meant to me is the store's out of pie shells and some lady is pissed about it. Merry Freakin' Christmas.

I was a roughneck for a lot of my life, motorcycles, booze, fighting, not to mention I was an especially miserable bastard after my marriage broke up, and even worse after my dog passed away. Yeah, me and Kris Kringle, seperated at birth. Santa Claus.

The mother said, "Sorry honey, it's not him" and this kid's just staring at me. Staring at me in a grey dress shirt, jeans and hiking boots and believing. I may be a hard-ass, but I just couldn't let this go. St. Nick.

So I took a deep breath and said, (swear to God) "Ho, Ho, Ho... Don't let her fool you little boy." I felt like a jackass for a second... but just a second because his eyes lit up like it WAS Christmas.

So, I walked over and asked his name. He mumbled something that I've forgotton, but that doesn't matter. I went through all the Santa questions: "have you been good?" and so on. I told him it would be a while before I came, that Thanksgiving was first, I told him to tell mommy what he wanted so she could let me know.

His mother looked at me and said, "Thank you, that was very nice" and I think she meant it. but the boy waved and said, "Goodbye Santa." And I KNOW he meant it.

I'm still not gonna celebrate Christmas this year, but I sure won't bitch about it as much as I normally do.



At November 16, 2005 1:36 PM, Blogger rabbit said...

Put on a little weight, eh...

At November 16, 2005 5:13 PM, Blogger K-nine said...

I'm the same size I was last time you saw me, jackass. It was the twinkle in my eye. I was in the wine section after all.

At December 02, 2005 6:05 PM, Blogger Ms. Snow said...

Aw...how cute! It was nice of you to do that for that little boy.

A lot of kids think my dad looks like Santa, too - and did even before his girth matched that of the jolly red-dressed man. Kids always like my father, though; he's just good with kids - maybe there's some similar phenomenon with you? Or maybe it's the beard (not that I know whether or not you have a beard), because as soon as my father's black beard began getting streaks of white in it, kids asked if he was Santa.

At December 02, 2005 7:10 PM, Blogger K-nine said...

Thank you Ms. Snow. Yes, I still have the goatee. (that IS me in the 2nd picture and my facial fur is more red in real life)
Kids and animals, all my life, have liked me, and no matter how tough I try to act... they always seem to know.


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