How I Got My Job

Every Little Bit Counts

My thoughts were gnawing at me so I tried hard not to think
I took a pint of whiskey and poured it down the sink.
I'd get my act together, I swore it to myself
I looked up at your picture and knocked it off the shelf

Every little bit counts
every little bit counts
every little bit counts
every little bit counts

Too little too late, sorry
too little too late for me
too little too late, sorry
too little too late for me

I tried and I tried and I tried to be so good.
Wanted to be good so bad
I tried and I tried and I tried every trick I could
emptied out the whole damn bag

but it was too little too late, sorry
too little too late for me

I'm no longer choking on the hair of the dog
It's been a couple of weeks now since I came out of the fog
The highs are slightly higher, the lows are just as low
A mild improvement on the average, don't you know

Every little bit counts
every little bit counts
every little bit counts
every little bit counts

Every little bit counts,
though it may not count for much
could be long forgotten
by the time you add 'em up

Could be too little too late, sorry
too little too late for me
too little too late, sorry
too little too late for me

Too little too late, sorry
too little too late for me
too little too late, sorry
too little too late for me

-James McMurtry

Less Of Me To Love (Or Hate)

No words needed.

UPDATE:

I guess there is some clarification needed here. I used the March picture because I didn't have anything more recent. I had my last drink of alcohol on May 9th. My last Pepsi on May 11th. Started walking on May 12th. In 9 days I dropped from over 220lbs to 195. On the 10th day I was at my current weight of 190. Come Mon the 26th I'll add situps to the mix for some definition.

Trip And Falls

First off let me start by saying, "No. I am not better."

The dreams have abated somewhat, but I'm still pretty miserable. I've decided to continue to post, but I'm not sure how I came to that conclusion. As per the usual I'll not post on specific problems that I have, but you'll probably notice a subdued tone... at best. That being said...

I went on a little trip to McKinney Falls park in SE austin. It's only about 20 mins from the house. I'm searching for stuff to get the bugs out of my brain. It's a good day trip if you live around here. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Here's a few K.

Scenes like this always make me think of The Planet of the Apes.

That white spot is a heron (or crane) catching fish

I don't know what these are, but there was just one plant in the middle of a bunch of scrub brush.

The lower falls at the park

The other side of the "Apes scape" where Onion creek cut through the limestone.

The new buff K-nine. The background is a 30' drop to the creek. This picture doesn't do the view justice.

Stairs, rails and a bridge in the middle of the woods.

The upper falls. Turtle on rock, one in the water., little bitty waterfall

The old Mckinney homestead ca. 1840. It's fenced off so I couldn't explore.

Prickly Pear in bloom

I sat there waiting for him to stick out his head. He did, I lifted the camera and he ducked.

Happy, happy, joy, joy. The drop behind me is 20'+. Most folk know I'm afraid of heights so this was a huge step for me.

Brain Waving

No alcohol. (No beer, bourbon, cider or wine... NO alcohol.)
No Caffine. (I used to drink Pepsi from morning to night... No more.)
Eating healthy. (Brown rice, acorn squash, lean pork and beef, chicken breast. No more fast food except Subway)
Excercising daily. (10 decline pushups in the am, 25 lift curl reps 12.5lbs per arm in the am, 10 more pushups and 25 more reps per arm when I get home from work, walk 4 miles Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri and Sat, 7 miles on Wed and Sun, 10 more pushups and 25 more reps per arm when I get back from my walk.)
Drink lots of water. (A quart to a half gallon or so each day.)
I've lost a few pounds, the little band of belly fat has shrunk considerably, and continues to dimish. Physically, I know I'm in better shape.

Mentally, not so much. I know alcohol is a depressant... A downer. Without it my mind is on 24-7.
Every hurt, betrayal, problem, concern seems to overrun my brain.
I dream very vividly now. Not like the seashore dream, but every night I dream. I awake with memories that seem inordinately real for a while before they start to fade almost every morning.

Heartbreaks relived. Fears expounded on. Not wild or far out dreams, very realistic, simple dreams. Some star people in my life... Or very rencently so anyway. Some star people from my past, but displaced to the present. It's madening... And I don't have a lot of leaway in that department anyway.

Where is the off switch?

Ask A Silly Question...

I know, I know... I'm supposed to be on hiatus or sabbatical or something, but duty calls.
When my readers ask for something, I can't deny them... Besides I started this.

Redneck writes, "I've got 3 Q's.
Had any squirrel problems lately?
What happened to your lunch time tittie bar posts?
Can you fly yet? ;)
Take care man."

I'm guessing that the first question has to do with the chipmunk story I told at the Austin blogmeet. It's a "kinda had to be there" story which while mildly amusing was catapulted into hilarity by interjections from Eric and one or two others.
The answer to that question is an unfortunate no. I no longer own a motorcycle, hang out with drug crazed freaks or drink myself to sleep in front of an open fire on a cliffside. I miss those days, but I was lucky to live through them the first time.
Although the other night I had a couple of glasses of 90 proof bourbon before bed. I awoke to see someone trying to see into my bedroom window. They were crouched low as though they were trying to see under the bamboo shades. I silently slid out of bed, retrieved my .380 and crept to the door in my bedroom that leads to my private porch where the windows are. I turned the lock slowly and grabbed the door knob. Steeled for almost anything I snatched the door open and jammed my pistol into the face of a huge black cat standing on my windowsill. He stared at me in my Guinness boxers, yowled, hissed, took a swipe at me and fled.
At least I've moved up from rodent to feline.


As to the second question... Work happened. I became a six and seven day a week warrior, for all the good it did me. I'll get back to that when (if ) I return.

The last question also refers to the blogmeet here. 'Neck offered a couple of times to toss my fuzzy butt off the Holiday Inn tower at town lake. Deserved I'm sure.
The answer: I sure hope so. The way my life is going I may find out really soon.

Thanks to all of you for your wishes and prayers. I sure can use them right now.

Time Out

I'm tired. This isn't fun right now. Life isn't fun right now. I'm going through a big transition right now. Some not so good, some with the potential to be really good... Or really bad.

Thank you to my loyal readers, and the folks who commented and complimented me. I'm sorry if I'm letting you down. I may be back.

I may not.

I'm singing this song, it's time it was sung
I've been putting it off for a while,
But it's harder by now, 'cause the truth is so clear
That I cry when I'm seeing you smile.

So goodbye, so long, the road calls me dear
And your tears cannot bind me anymore,
And farewell to the girl with the sun in her eyes
Can I kiss you, and then I'll be gone.

Every time that I tried to tell that we'd lost the magic we had at the start,
I would weep my heart when I looked in your eyes
And I searched once again for the spark.

So goodbye, so long, the road calls me dear
And your tears cannot bind me anymore,
And farewell to the girl with the sun in her eyes
Can I kiss you, and then I'll be gone.

I can see by your eyes, it's time now to go
So I'll leave you to cry in the rain,
Though I held in my hand, the key to all joy
Honey my heart was not born to be tamed.

So goodbye, so long, the road calls me dear
And your tears cannot bind me anymore,
And farewell to the girl with the sun in her eyes
Can I kiss you, and then I'll be gone.

So goodbye, so long, the road calls me dear
And your tears cannot bind me anymore,
And farewell to the girl with the sun in her eyes
Can I kiss you, and then I'll be gone.
Can I kiss you, and then I'll be gone, can I kiss you, and then I'll be gone.

-Tom Waits

Oh, and M... The AK47 has had more influence in the world than any other. It's cheap, it's reliable, and it has changed the face of our world forever, from military powers to warlords to individule nutjobs. That's just my opinion... I may be wrong.

The "A's" Have It

Well, I'd like to thank all the folks who sent me questions... Both of you.
Nice to be loved.

Anyway, here is what you were dying to know:

M asks, "What is your favorite tv show and why?"

Wow, that one is kind of a toughie. With all the different genres out there it's hard to call a clear favorite, not to mention shows that are no more. I'll break it down this way:

Current comedy: How I Met Your Mother - CBS
Why: It's a good mix of characters, subtle humor, and plausible situations.
Basicly, every show provides at least one "knowing smile", at least one "rueful chuckle" and at least one "spit out your soda belly laugh."
Last but not least it's not your typical "couple sitcom" about fat and/or stupid men and the beautiful women who put up with them.

Runner up: Big Bang Theory - CBS
Why: Most of the same reasons, but too stereotyping. The nerds are just too nerdy.

Current Drama: NCIS - CBS
Why: I like the whole CSI crime genre and this has it without being too CSI-y. The CSI series have gotten too glam for my tastes. NCIS has a good mix of crime fighting, action, and science plus once again a good mix of characters... The tough guy, the egomaniac, the computer geek, the scientists. I've recently started netflixing this show from the beginning to see missed episodes.

Runner up: Numbers - CBS
Why: Same reasons as NCIS, just not as much of them.

Current Sci-Fi: None
I dont have cable, and what is the deal with all the vampire cop shows? It's been done. Remember Forever Knight?

Current Animation: The Simpsons - FOX
Why: If I have to explain, you wouldn't understand. They do seem to be running out of Ideas though.

Runner up: Family Guy - FOX
Like the Simpsons only more cras... And like the Simpsons they seem to be running out of ideas too.

As far as past shows go Farscape - SCIFI stands above the rest in my memory. The pop culture references, the action and the muppets made it great.

Now...

Eric asks, "... shaved that mustache/goatee thinggy off yet?..."

No.

What Do You Want To Know?

I've been lax on the posting lately. Sorry... Life is intrusive.
So, what I'm going to do is open the floor to Questions.

E-mail your questions to alphaknine (at) hotmail (dot) com (Or click the mailbox link at the right) and ask me what you will. I'll compile the best (or only) questions along with my honest answers into a post in a few days.

Everything you ever wanted to know about K-Nine and more.

No Q's... No A's.

A True Friend...

Stabs you in the front.

-Oscar Wilde

Drive-By

Goddamn Lonely Love by The Drive-By Truckers

I got green and I got blues

and everyday there's a little less difference between the two.

So I belly-up and disappear.

Well I ain't really drowning 'cause I see the beach from here.

I could take a Greyhound home

but when I got there it'd be gone

along with everything a home is made up of.

So I'll take two of what you're having

and I'll take everything you got

to kill this goddamn lonely, goddamn lonely love.

Sister, listen to what your daddy says.

Don't be ashamed of things that hide behind your dress.

Belly-up and arch your back.

Well I ain't really falling asleep; I'm fading to black.

You could come to me by plane,

but that wouldn't be the same

as that old motel room in Texarkana was.

So I'll take two of what you're having

and I'll take all of what you got

to kill this goddamn lonely, goddamn lonely love.

Stop me if you've heard this one before:

A man walks into a bar and leaves before his ashes hit the floor.

Stop me if I ever get that far.

The sun's a desperate star that burns like every single one before.

And I could find another dream,

one that keeps me warm and clean

but I ain't dreamin' anymore,

I'm waking up.

So I'll take two of what you're having

and I'll take everything you got

to kill this goddamn lonely, goddamn lonely love.

Oh Danny Boy

In Amboy, Washington a contractor and his kids found a parachute buried in the ground. An old parachute. The FBI is checking to see if it matches the type of chute used by a hijacker... Or should I say THE hijacker.

On Nov. 24th 1971 a man in a suit and tie, black raincoat and loafers paid $18.52 for a plane ticket from Portland, Oregon to Seattle, Washington. He boarded the Boeing 727 with a bomb and a plan.

After handing the stewardess a hijack note, he exchanged the other passengers for four parachutes and $200,000 in cash.

While his ransom was being collected he sat on the tarmac drinking bourbon and soda. A man after my own heart.

Back in the air he instructed the pilot to fly low and slow. Not long after that he walked down the rear steps of the plane and into history.

He was never seen again. The FBI decided he was dead. (They said the same about Eric Robert Rudolph after they couldn't find him, how did that work out for them?)

In 1978 the placard was found from the rear stairway of the plane.

In 1980 $5880 in $20 bills was found on the banks of the Columbia River.

Now the parachute.

The first name on the passenger list was Dan, but you may know him as D.B. Cooper.

UPDATE:

Experts say the parachute can't be Cooper's. It's not the right age nor material (it's silk not nylon ca.1945).

Hold Your Water

I rent a dog from time to time. Not really, but I have a friend who is a student and a bartender, and rather than have the poor mutt locked in an apartment all the time, he stays with me a few days a week.
Why not? I don't have time for a dog of my own, I have a decent sized yard and he's pretty good for a Heeler mix puppy.

Sometimes he plays over at my neighbor's house with a Pitt Bull mix the same age as him. Sometimes I take him to the park at Auditorium Shores and let him run with the dogs there. He always barks at the Stevie Ray Vaughn statue.
Sometimes we just hit the east end of Town Lake at the Colarado River Park near my house and hang out there. It's mostly hispanic families and not many dogs, but if I'm in one of my moods, no one tries to talk to me... Not in english anyway.
The east end of the lake (The lakes are not lakes, they are just dammed up portions of the Colorado River... Not THE Colorado River just the Colorado River...) is the ass end of the park. Past the dam there the river bed is almost devoid of water.

Water.

Oh, Yeah! Water... This post is about water. Not river water... Drinking water. When taking the dog down to the park at the east end of the lake I started to notice the trash.
Austin is a very liberal city. Lots of hippies, vegetarians and vegans, greenpeacers, save the planeteers and global warming nutjobs.

Because this park is the end of the line, so to speak, this is where the trash ends up. Now, I'm used to seeing beer and soda bottles and cans carelessly disposed of... Smashed up coolers, candy wrappers and the occasional shoe.
What shocked me was the plastic bottles. In particular plastic water bottles. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.
Evian. Deer Spring Park. Aquafina. Desani. Ozarka. HEB brand. Fiji.
Liter bottles. 20 oz bottles. 16 oz bottles.
It's disgusting. Small coves entirely harbored by little plastic water bottle ships. Oh, the irony of polluting the water because you want to carry a bottle of unpolluted water around in your fist.

It's not like I live out in the middle of the west Texas desert. Austin is a city with over half a million people in it. In most of the park you're rarely more than a short walk from a food retailer. In some places there are even water fountains... Even dog water fountains if yours is too prissy to drink directly from the lake. Nobody is going to dehydrate and die in the middle of the park in the middle of Austin in the middle of the hill country in the middle of Texas. The idea that someone needs to haul around a bottle of water is ludicrous.
These are the people who have a "fun run" or bicycle race or charity event for every little minor ill the world encounters. Save the Barton Spings Salamander!
All that is aside from the fact that every third Prius here in Austin has a "No Blood For Oil" bumper sticker on it. How about a "No Blood For Water Bottles" sticker. Plastic is a petroleum based product.

Mostly Cloudy

I've been in a little bit of a funk lately. Things just don't seem to want to go the way I would like them to right now.

Work is kinda blah. The things that are claiming my attention right now are niggling little annoyances.

I have tried to crawl out from under my little gloomy cloud. I bought a new lawnmower, mowed my grass, carved out a couple of new flower beds in my yard and planted some Texas wildflowers.

I suppose I made a mistake by planting seeds instead of actual plants, because all I have to show for my work are bare patches of earth with just a few little green sprouts poping up. I'm trying to look at the bright side by telling myself that as they burst forth and grow I can watch the whole fascinating process. I planted a large mix, most of which were selected to attract butterflies and humming birds.

Speaking of humming birds I bought a nice little copper trimmed feeder to put on my back porch where I sit to smoke cigars, drink whiskey and listen to music. Havn't seen a single little bird. Most of the sugar water is gone, but since I'm rarely home durring the day it seems like an exercise in futility...

I also put out a goldfinch feeder (same porch) and I have seen a little activity there. Mostly brown sparrows and a few titmouses... Titmice? But since I live next to a little farm I assume my feeder is a bit superflous.

The weather here hasn't helped much the last few days either. Kinda gray and windy with no rain.

I tried to rearrange the furniture in the breakfast nook I use as a home office, but it will only fit one way, so I spent a couple of hours shredding old bills instead. If that doesn't depress you, I don't know what will.

So... Until the sun comes out, posting will be light.

Happy Easter

Embattled, A 100 Word Recollection

Behind the wall at Fredericksburg, this seemed familiar. He knelt and looked at his rifle, déjà vu, but not quite. The actions were the same, but this was a different gun. Last time was older… Flint instead of percussion, musket instead of rifle, still... Looking across the field, the scene wavered. In his mind the men in blue forming up in front of them reminded him of other men in red doing the same.
He never saw the Minnie-ball that caught him in the temple, slinging his dead body to the ground.
In the trench at Messines, this seemed familiar.

Beannachtaí Na Féile Pádraig Oraibh

Happy St. Pat's to one and all on this fine March 17th. Today I will work like the Irish slave that I am, but tonight... Ah, tonight, I will walk down to BD Riley's Pub. (It's a two plus mile hike, but we're not going through that whole cab fiasco again.) I will raise a Pint or two of Guinness, speak to friends I havn't seen lately, listen to some Irish tunage and take a shot of Jameson's to steel myself for the walk home in the storms they're predicting for central Texas. After the homeward trek I see a hot shower and a soft bed, and perhaps another shot of whiskey.
The blessings of St. Patrick upon you.

Reel Lines (26) Remake Mania

Ben Wade: What are you squeezin' that watch for? Squeezin' that watch ain't gonna stop time.

Ben Wade: Ya know, squeezin' that watch ain't gonna stop time.

I'm so glad they are making westerns that are actually westerns again.

Figures, A 100 Word Story

Karla mopped her brow and entered another column of numbers. Her adding machine smoked lightly as her nimble fingers flew over the buttons. She turned to the desktop and entered a damnable series of debits and preciously few credits.

“Figures are off again,” she mumbled, “this is going to take an eternity.”

Her outbox was piled with signed contracts that had been processed, but it seemed that every time her inbox got any lower than overflowing, a grinning demon would wheel in another stack.

It was no picnic being Satan’s chief accountant. It seems there is always Hell to pay.

Grand Times Twenty

While I've been MIA with computer problems, my little project here passed the 20,000 mark. The 20k visitor was out of Topeka, Kansas, and is a regular visitor. I'm pretty sure I know who it is, but won't say for privacy reasons. Thanks for visiting. Y'all come back now, y' hear?

Propaganda, A 100 Word Story

Wilbur grunted in pain. The operation had left him alive, but weak and very much lighter.

Once he had been so afraid of dying. He and his friends had put in motion the campaign to save his life. Now he was sure that death would have been easier, and much less painful.

He pushed himself up on his remaining three legs, mindful of the missing ribs and the bandage covering the latest “bacon removal”.

Charlotte had done her job well, maybe just a little too well. A pig as special as he is, you don’t eat all at one time.

Stand Up

And put your hand over your heart. If you don't, and you are an American, there is something really wrong with you.

Attempt At Culture

I was feeling a little buggy a week ago Saturday, so I texted over to my lovely friend at the Austin Museum of Art to suggest someone for me to look up. (The Munch painting I put up recently sparked something)

Sunday the answer came: Olafur Eliasson

Never heard of him. So try this on for size:

The Weather Project

Lavafloor

One of the things that fascinated me most was the white lego project wher he donated 3 tons of legos and allowed random people to build their own cityscape.

Reel Lines (25) Remake Mania

It's not often that I like both an original film and the remake... This one I did. Usually I like the original. I am a Steve McQueen fan. Hell I still want to grow up to be Steve McQueen... But, I think the remake was better. Steve needs to be the tough, and that's that. Pierce was a better Thomas Crown... and Faye was bad ass in her day, but Rene in that dress... Oh, baby!

Thomas Crown: Who's head are you after?

Vicki Anderson: Yours.

Thomas Crown: Mine? (laughs)

Thomas Crown: You look wonderful!

Catherine Banning: Thank you! How are you?

Thomas Crown: Popular.

Somebody Nose, A 100 Word Story

Joey the Beak had a nose that was nothing to sneeze at. Cyrano De Bergerac had nothing on Joey. Teased most of his life, Joey took it all in stride because he had a special talent.
Joey stepped up to the microphone and cleared his throat. He took the lid off of the Jar that had been handed to him and inhaled.
“Chocolate… Mesquite… Chanel No. 5… And…” Joey hesitated. It was all riding on this. “And sheep sweat!”
The crowd erupted into a cheering mob. For the third year running, Joey was the champion of the National Smelling Bee.

Thanks to Elisson, whose book "Shorts in a Wad" was the inspiration for this story.

TGIF

You know, that never meant much to me. I've been a dancing retail monkey for over two thirds of my life. Friday is just the day before everyone else has a day off. The day before all my friends went to the beach, or had a cook out, or just slept in. Friday night was the night I had to be careful or Saturday would be eight hours of work... With a hangover.

Weekends don't mean much when your weeks are round.

I can only imagine my life being different, but I really don't know. I would like to spend Saturday mowing my grass, washing the jeep. The sun shining, my windows open, rock and roll music drifting out into the yard.

While I'm at it, could I have a million dollars, a Harley, a good dog and a beautiful redhead to bring me cold beer, kiss my cheek and tell me not to work too hard because lunch is almost ready? No? I didn't think so. Thanks anyway.

So, everyone, have fun tonight, sleep late tomorrow, do something you really enjoy, and if you have to go into a retail store and the cashier is distracted and the manager looks like he's been punched in the face, be nice. Remember, you have the day off, we almost never do.

Second Verse

Not cream colored ponies nor crisp apple streudelsNot doorbells or sleigh bells nor schnitzel with noodlesNo wild geese that fly with the moon on their wingsTHESE are a few of my favorite things

Class Act

Just before I went on vacation this year I got a call from Mrs. Peterson. Last year Mrs. Peterson asked me to come talk to her 6th and 7th graders about the American Civil War. I went and had a great time. The kids were articulate, and intellegent and asked some great questions. A week or so later I got a handfull of cards from some of the kids. I felt like I did something good... Balanced a little karma.

So, when the call came this year I jumped at it. This morning I dressed in my Confederate grey and went to school.

Some of the same kids were there from last year, and some new students too. They were a little more shy off the bat so I started with a little government lesson, then moved into the personal life of a soldier. I touched on clothing, food, living conditions and by the time I got to weapons they were ready to get involved. Just like last year the questions were varied and well thought. They asked about states rights, furloughs, and penalties for crimes like theft and desertion. We discussed prison camps, and war crimes. I showed them the basics of loading and firing a rifle, and we talked about different types of ordinance. I had fun, and I hope this can become a regular thing. Mrs. Peterson also gave me pictures from last year's visit, so to end up, here's one:

I would love to post more pics, but I'm loath to post the faces of minors. Great bunch of kids though. Although...
That works.

With Friends Like These...

Last night on the back porch, a friend and I were enjoying the weather and having a chat. It was observed that I can be a bit long winded when visiting an anecdote.
I laughed, "Heh, I've heard that brevity is the soul of wit."
Without missing a beat he opined, "Yeah, you're pretty soulless."

Not Raindrops On Roses...

...Or whiskers on kittens Not bright copper kettles or warm woolen mittens
No brown paper packages tied up with strings
THESE are a few of my favorite things