Naked Lunch Specials III

Sugar's Uptown Cabaret.




Sugar's is right down from Highland mall, which seems a strange place for a strip club. There is parking out front, but between two buildings with fences and hedges, so unless someone is looking for your car it's doubtful anyone will see it. I didn't notice if there was valet parking or not this time, I don't use it anyway.

Outside the front entrance to the right is a little semi-closed porch for a smoking area, but it was really cold yesterday and no one was in it.

Inside the front door is a small vestibule with the front desk, through the next door, and BANG you are in the club. There is a stage right in front of you, tables all around, the main stage to the right and a bar on the other side of the room. There is a VIP section to the right of the main stage and there is a small area up two steps on the other side of the entrance for a little quieter area and bar that is used as a second VIP area at night.

Once again there were very few tables against the walls and some of those are in a high traffic area. I finally got comfortable over by the back wall near the dressing room entrance. The lighting was ample (for a strip joint) and the music was at an acceptable level.

The waitress was there pretty quick and followed me around as I switched tables. As always I like to start with a Vitaman G (Guinness) and was dismayed to find out "What the Hell? $6.25 for a bottle of pub draft. Over six bucks for bottled beer." I'm sorry, but that's just wrong.

My waitress was new (two weeks) and didn't really know the lunch specials, so she handed me a menu and walked away. Bad form. You should always at least know the specials. Well, after perusing the selection I picked a $9.99 surf and turf. Steak, shrimp, potato and salad.

As always the salad came first. It was a tiny little bowl of iceberg lettuce with a sad wedge of tomato smothered in honey mustard dressing topped by crutons lined up like little tombstones. This was not looking good.

When the meal came my fears were confirmed. It was a flat little steak, three deep fried shrimp of the Mrs. Pauls variety (cocktail on the side)... By far, the best part of the meal was the baked potato.
The steak was tough, overcooked and had some kind if sage or rosemary rub on it. Why places feel they need to cover the meat taste is beyond me. The shrimp as I said were the flash frozen/reheated type, rubbery and in no way improved at all by the cocktail sauce. The potato, however, was of decent size, tasty, and loaded with sour cream, butter, cheese and chives. Disapointing is the best thing I can say.

So... On to the sliding scale.

Service: 6 (really should know the specials)

Food: 3 (2 of which goes to the baked potato)

Atmosphere: 7 (too few tables near the walls)

Value: 2 (the beer was too much, the food was too much for the quality, overall I spent $30 before tip for, at best, a pedestrian meal)

Total: 4.5 (sorry, but this just wasn't worth the trip)

Next week I'll be going back up north to Joy of Austin right off I-35 in Round Rock.

If you have a club in your area you would like to review (Food only please, my mother reads this) send a write up to alphaknine@hotmail.com and I may post it. Or if you are in the Austin area and have a club you would like me to visit and review, or would like to join me for lunch, just place in comments.