Thursday, September 20, 2007

Unknown Drives

Austin TX Driving Test (Written)
page 1

Please note that these questions come in a mixture of Multiple Choice, True/False and Essay Questions in no particular order. Note also that you do not actually have to know anything in order to drive in Austin. Apologies to the rest of Texas… What am I saying, “The rest of Texas”? Austin isn’t Texas. Texas is 30 miles from Austin in any given direction.


1) If, for some reason after driving in the left hand lane on the interstate at 5 MPH below the posted speed limit for more than 10 miles you decide to merge right, you should:

a) Speed up to 10 MPH above the posted limit and then re-merge into the left hand lane before anyone can get past you, then resume your previous slow speed.
b) Immediately cross three lanes of traffic to exit the interstate without signaling
c) Turn your left signal on and weave slightly left as you glare at the cars in the left lane for not letting you back in.
d) Any of the above.

2) It is safe to cut off another vehicle if they have a “No blood for oil” bumper sticker. (circle one)

true/false

3) It is safe to cut off another vehicle if they have a “Bush/Cheney” bumper sticker. (circle one)

true/false

4) When driving in east Austin the most important thing to have with you is:

a) A boomin’ sound system.
b) A firearm.
c) Your greencard.

5) You have been driving in the left hand lane of the interstate at 5 MPH below the posted speed limit when you realize your exit is coming up. You should:

a) Swerve right across all lanes of traffic without signaling.
b) Swerve right across all lanes of traffic after signaling.
c) Slam on the brakes and sue the driver who hits you.

6) A police officer has pulled another driver over for some offense and is out of his car writing a ticket. You should:

a) Slow down below the posted speed limit because you feel guilty
b) Slow down below the posted speed limit to gawk
c) Slow down below the posted speed limit in case he can magically make his car appear directly behind you and pull you over next.

7) When driving in the left hand lane at 5 miles an hour below the posted speed limit on the interstate, with no traffic in front of you and 150 cars behind you, is it possible to not know you are an asshole? (please answer in 50 words or less)

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4 Comments:

At September 20, 2007 7:38 PM, Blogger Austin said...

1) D
2) True
3) False
4) A
5) A
6) C
7) The driver must first remove their head from within their ass to see if they are indeed an asshole.

 
At September 20, 2007 7:57 PM, Blogger K-nine said...

#4 is a trick question the correct answer is a and c.

 
At September 21, 2007 5:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seems that you have been following around driving.......

 
At September 23, 2007 8:07 PM, Anonymous JRB said...

I would merely like to note that I was actually not in the car this time......

 

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