Tuesday, May 27, 2008


Last night, I'm not sure what time, I was awakened. Instantly.
My eyes snapped open and I was fully aware of my surroundings.
No dream to trigger it this time, just wide awake.
I didn't move at first, only my eyes opening.
I looked at the light from the window on my wall to see if there was any movement of shadow. None.
I listened intently for some sound... Any sound. No mice in the attic, no creek of the joists, no wind at the window. Nothing.
Slowly I rolled over to look through the bamboo shades. Nothing moving on the bedroom porch. Not even the hanging swing.
I slipped out of bed feeling very surreal and padded around my dark house. I didn't feel any real unease so I left the handgun in it's hiding place.
Bedroom to hall. Looked into the bathroom and moved through the office to the kitchen. Out the window of the kitchen door my Jeep was an unblinking sentinal under the overhang from the shop, completely still and undisturbed. No movement in the driveway... Not even one of the myriad of neighborhood cats that use it as a main route to the farm behind the house.
I stood listening intently. No sound but the slight shifting of my feet and my own breathing.
I moved into the dining and living room. Silence. Not even wind in the chimney. I walked over to the front door and looked out the window there.
What little light that reaches my compound from the street revealed an empty expanse of lawn, the massive live oak standing impassively left of center.
Feeling like a ghost in my own house I glided back into the kitchen and the refrigerator. I poured a glass of cold water ignoring the slight urge to take a shot of bourbon.
I stood at the kitchen sink for a while gazing into the nothing beyond the panes of glass there, then back to bed without ever looking at a clock. I was soon asleep again.
It may be official.
I think I'm insane.



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