Saturday, June 07, 2008

Throw Me A Line

Audience Participation.
In my younger days I was a bit of a ladies man... Actually, whore dog would be a bit more accurate. In fact, that is partially how I got my nickname of K-Nine, although the whole story has eroded with time.
I used to be the man with the lines. Not cheap throw aways, but good, on the spot, occasion specific lines. Those days are gone, and I don't care.
Last night though, I was watching loud, drunk, inept young men try to "throw a rap" on the girls in the ugly dresses. I couldn't really hear what was being said, but I imagined some of the old chestnuts like:
  • That's a nice dress, It'll look great on my floor in the morning.
  • Are your feet tired? You've been running through my mind all day.
  • Can I buy you a drink... And breakfast?
  • You must be a keg, 'cause I'd like to tap that ass.
OK, maybe not the last one, but... What are your favorite (best and worst) pick-up lines. I'd really like to hear from the ladies on this one. I've noticed that my readership is up now that I'm going nuts, so I expect some comments, damn it.



At June 07, 2008 7:26 PM, Anonymous Constance Reader said...

"Would you marry me on a trial basis?"

I replied "Not without a jury of my peers."

We were married for 10 years and are now the best of friends.

But noone has ever tried any of those lameass lines on me, they skip even that and just make a pass. I will say it saves a lot of time -- they make a pass, I turn it down and we both go on with our lives.

At June 07, 2008 9:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

..... I've never picked anyone up in a bar and I am not likely to.... so with 'pick-up lines', I am afraid I can't help you there, bro........

At June 08, 2008 9:24 AM, Blogger K-nine said...

Clarification here... I'm not planning on USING these. This is for amusement only. If I can't get a girl with my own personal wit and charm... Oh God... I'm gonna be alone the rest of my life aren't I? Ha!

At June 08, 2008 11:42 PM, Anonymous JRB said...

Here's one from a phone conversation that only occurred at all because I answered a friend's phone -

"You sound cute. Are you sure you're my sister's friend?"
followed by -
"Yep, that's me in the football uniform. I AM pretty hot aren't I?"

Okay, paraphrased, but essentially correct. Cheesy, maybe, worked for about 20 years now.........

At June 09, 2008 9:43 AM, Blogger K-nine said...

I have no recollection of those events... I mean, what are you talking about? Who said that?


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