Saturday, March 18, 2006

The Price of Good Behavior


Last night I went out to the pub. A combination of things made me do things a little more safely than usual. My normal attitude is "damn the torpedoes full speed ahead", but last night was different. St. Patrick's Day durring South by Southwest on a Friday night... This is not the time to tempt fate... So, I called a cab. My friend Sean's dad (an expert on Irish luck- see post fromMarch 17th) Is wont to say "No good deed goes unpunished" Sean and I discussed making one of those motivational posters with a picture of a couple of guys pushing a car out of the mud and being thoroughly splattered with the spin off from the back tire and "No Good deed..." well you know... but I digress.
I got home last night at 6:40 and called Austin Cab at 6:45. "Yes, I need a cab from north Austin to 6th St. Forty-five minutes? Yes, that'll be great." Cool, time for a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches and change into my favorite Guinness T-Shirt.
An hour and a half later I started to get concerned. I called Austin Cab. "Are you the guy in North Austin? Sorry we're running a little behind" I ask how much longer "Please hold a second" Then I swear without even muting the phone she says, "Yes, I need a cab to go to North Austin to pick up a customer" WHAT?! 45 minutes PAST the 45 minutes I was told and they are JUST NOW paging a cab!! Never one to be known for my patience I started to become upset. How long will it be? "It will be a while, sir" OK, That's it.
I can see the spittle flying from my own mouth, feel my heart rate increase and myself crushing my cell phone as I begin to yell, "WOULD YOU MIND DEFINING A F**KING WHILE? IS A WHILE SHORTER OR LONGER THAN THE EXTRA FORTY-F**KING-FIVE MINUTES YOU'VE KEPT ME WAITING? I JUST WANT TO KNOW SO I CAN TELL YOUR BOSS TOMORROW WHEN I CALL HIM. IF YOU ARE NOT F**KING COMING TELL ME NOW AND I'LL JUST GO TO F**KING BED"
At this point I should probably tell you this is not some $2.00 hop for a few blocks, this is a $25.00 (min) cab ride, you'ld think they'd be happy about it.
"10 minutes sir." I managed a tight "thank you" through gritted teeth. 10 minutes to the dot my phone rings "Sir he's on the way he'll be there in just a minute." That will be just fine, that's all I wanted.
Two and a half hours and $30 later I'm standing in line at the pub. The good news is I can text message a friend inside to order my first pint so it will be waiting.
Not much about the evening, it was a good time.
Left the pub around midnight and walked over to 5th st to grab a cab home. Called the cab co. Need a cab at 5th and San Jacinto. "OK" and they hung up. every cab that came by had someone in it. Joined by several other people hailing cabs. still none stop. Everyone pulls out cell phones and call. Every time the answer is "OK" and thirty minutes later no cabs have stopped. Ten calls from one corner and no cab. Thirty mins after that I hook up with another friend going north. We walk to the hotel where her sister works to get the sister to call one for us. This is a four star hotel. She informs us that the cab companies (all of them) are taking reservations, but not keeping them. Thirty minutes later we finally grab a cab just coming on duty and thirty minutes and $30 after that I get home. Now I know why people drink and drive. (where is he going with this?) here ya go.

They say that people drink and drive an average of 350 times before they are caught. The average cost to get out of a DUI or DWI is $5000.00 plus incidental expenses.
Average time spent in custody for a DUI or DWI is 24 hours.

To call a cab 350 times from north Austin to 6th st would cost $10,500.00 Double that to get home each time and it becomes $21,000.00 give or take tips. I spent a two hour wait each way, but even if you halve that the wait time for 350 cab rides is 700 hours (or 29 days)

It is never a good idea to drink and drive, but it may be cost beneficial.

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2 Comments:

At March 25, 2006 9:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I did that same math a couple of years ago and at that point I came up with a plan.
I would buy a limo.(Contour, Pinto, or Mustang) Then hire a teenager to drive me to the bars for somewhere around mimum wage.
Wouldn't we have loved to have had that job when we were in H.S.?
Problem is that you can't find good help at any price these days and the plan fell apart.
Now days it's hard just to find a good baby sitter.
And no I don't have any small kids, but where else can you find a sixteen year old girl for $6 an hour.
J.B.

 
At March 27, 2006 11:29 AM, Blogger K-nine said...

Thiland?

 

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