Retro-Sexual

God, I hope this is right. At the pub yesterday some of the regulars were having a continued conversation that I wasn't privy to the beginning of, but the gist was that the trend of the metro-sexual was coming to an end. (And this is Austin, people, the bright blue spot in a big red state)


For those not up on the vernacular a metro-sexual is a (supposedly) straight male with the (supposedly) best features of a man and a woman. A guy with the style sense and sensitivity of a gal (or homsexual man). Think male fashion plate, think Barbi's ex, Ken. Think Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.


Apparently the retro-sexual is the older, out-dated (re-dated?) man's man. (NOT the SanFran definition of man's man, but a MAN'S man... Uh, that is I mean... Oh for cryin' out loud...) The tough guy, the Marlboro man, the no cryin'-hard workin'-beer drinkin'-unprimped-unpreened-unpampered-winning actually is everything-has a 5 o'clock shadow at 10am-real man, or as I like to call him... Me. A guy who is not afraid to hide his feelings. A guy who will not threaten to punch you in the mouth, but will just actually punch you in the mouth. A man not afraid to take a beating. Me, me, mmmeeuuuh... well sometimes me.


I don't know if this is true or not, but the women in the group seemed to think it was, and that's good enough for me. Remember folks you heard it here first... And guys, throw out your gels, your facial stuff, your shiny ribbed skintight shirts, and act like a man, damnit.