Naked Lunch Specials V

Dumm... Da-ta-da-dummm... A long time ago... In a city deep in the heart of Texas... A quest was begun... Da-ta-da-dummm...

Unfortunately that quest was interrupted due to circumstances beyond control... That quest resumed this week with a trip to...

Exposé

Exposé Gentlemen's club is located on SoCo (that's South Congress Ave for all you unhip to the Austin scene). Like several of the other clubs I've reviewed, I'd never been before, so this was all new to me.

The Club and the parking is on a hill above S. Congress, and right down from St. Edward's University. I think they have valet available, but as any faithful reader would know I never use that anyhow. The lot is visable from the street, so you may not want to drive the company vehicle. I invited a couple of friends, but it was such short notice...

Up the steps and into the entrance hall and a second set of doors. Through those and there were a couple waitresses standing right there. I was told I could sit anywhere and a waitress would be right with me.

The layout is pretty simple. Facing from the doors, the bar is on the right wall, the stage and DJ booth are on the back wall, the VIP section was a step up to the left, and tables and chairs on the front wall. Always one to keep my back to the wall, I chose the front. The decor struck me as 1940's swanky. All oak and brass with alternating tinted and clear mirrored walls. Very clean, very cool. The music was not my taste, but it never is, and it wasn't too loud. There are a couple of smaller stages sprinkled around the floor, but they weren't in use at that time.

I sat and the waitress was right there... She had followed me to my seat... Nice. I ordered a Guinness and asked about the specials. $4.50 gets you a choice of country fried steak (with the option of a baked potato) or a half pound burger and fries (or optional onion rings). Feeling kind of laid back I ordered the burger and fries... No mayo, no pickle. My Guinness was there within minutes. I asked about the price of the Guinness (bottle): $4.75, we're on the right track. The burger was there before I drank a fourth of the beer. Fast, fast, fast.

The burger was excellent, big chunk of meat, lettuce, tomato, onion on a kaiser bun. It was thick and juicy... to the point that it was falling apart by the time I finished it. It was so big I had trouble eating the whole thing. The fries were crispy out, tender in. Strip joints always seem to have the best fries. I know that seems like a short review, but there's not much more to say. Good food, big portions.

After the meal, the manager, John, stopped by my table (as he does all tables) to check on my well being. He mentioned the Guinness, and we talked for a good while. In the interest of full disclosure, I told John what I was doing there, but I had already formed my opinion before I met him. We shared a pint, he introduced me to the chef, showed me the full menu and we talked about business and more. I will be going to their sister club Palazio in the future.

It was a great experience. The food was good. The club was nice. The price was right. I was out of there for $20 including tip for burger, fries and two beers.

On to the sliding scale...

Service: 10 (that girl was on the ball)

Food: 10 (and that's hard for a burger)

Atmosphere: 9 (nice place- enough said)

Value: 10 (two beers, and I was full and satisfied when I walked out the door)

Total: 9.75 (this was a deal, and a good one)

The next stop on the Naked Lunch Tour will be The Landing Strip over on the east side near (you guessed it) the airport.

If you have a club in your area you would like to review (Food only please, my mother reads this) send a write up to alphaknine@hotmail.com and I may post it. Or if you are in the Austin area and have a club you would like me to visit and review, or would like to join me for lunch, just place in comments.