Thursday, May 29, 2008

Good As Gold

Well, not mentally, but... I'm down to a fighting weight of 190 and have kind of plateaued there. I've brought my food intake back up to a more normal level, but am still keeping it healthy.
I received a few alarmed emails and phone calls from people checking on me, so here's a general announcement. I'm NOT dying. I have no dread disease, I'm not losing weight because I have to nor because I'm sick. My mental state is due to outside factors in both my personal life and my work situation.
Physically I'm healthy as a horse. I'm just tired of being the same size as a horse (regardless of my resemblance to the rear end of one).
The earth fell out from under me last month. Usually if I had problems in one area of my life I'd concentrate on the other. Both went kablooie at the same time this time.
Work is better, and if I can work it out may end up being a great and wonderful (not to mention lucrative) thing for me. If not I may have to start my life completely over. Again.
My personal life is in a shambles. It pretty much has been since I split with my ex-wife seven years ago. I thought I finally had all my shit in one sock (To quote the late, great Acidman), but I was wrong. Again.
In the past when faced with adversity I'd climb into a bottle, don my armor made of hate and anger, and fill the hole in my life with vitriol. I almost did it again.
On May 9th I sat down at the bar and had a shot of Turkey 101 and a Guinness. I was loud and angry and unhappy. One became two, and so on.
I couldn't do that again. I did that for three years and more when I first moved here.
Monday I went for a walk to clear my head. Over the next four miles I came up with the plan I'm on.
This morning I did a little consultation and orientation at Gold's Gym. Starting Saturday and three days a week from that point on I'll be working out. I havn't been a gym member for 20 years. I never was much of a self motivator when it came to that type of thing.
Well, Self, pay attention this time.
I may be a head case, but I'll be an in shape head case.

Thank you for all the support, comments and e-mails. They mean so very much to me... Thank you, thank you. Every little bit counts.



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