Moonshine, a 100 word story

The full moon is sitting low in the sky when I feel the change come over me. It always happens this way, and it’s always painful as Hell.
The muscles start to shift, and the bones mutate. I can feel my teeth change with my tongue even as it too changes.
I can feel strange urges stirring in my brain. I know from experience that I’ll not remember this while in my other form, but during the transition I can see both sides of the coin.
The most terrible part… I have to spend the next month as a human.

Island Cuisine, A 100 Word Story

God, it had been so long. This was excellent. So wrong, but so right.
He touched the corners of his mouth with the cloth he had been using as a napkin as he chewed methodically. He savored that bite and then cut another small piece.
He could feel the strength returning to his body as the protein hit his system.
His diet had left much to be desired for so long. Coconut milk, coconut pie, coconut everything… Even the radio was made out of coconuts.
“Three hour tour my ass” thought Gilligan as he carved another slice of Mr. Howell.

String Theory, A Very Old 100 Word Joke

A piece of string entered a bar and ordered a beer.
The bartender looked it up and down and said, “You’re a piece of string aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am” replied the string.
“I’m sorry but we don’t serve strings here” said the bartender.
The piece of string went outside, tied itself in the middle and pulled its top and bottom out all wild.
Back inside the bar it sat on a stool and ordered a beer.
The bartender said, “Aren’t you that piece of string that was in just a moment ago?”
“No,” it replied, “I’m a frayed knot.”

Karen told me this joke when she was 16 or 17. To this day it pops into my head every time I hear someone use that phrase. Every time.

Too Down, A 100 Word Story

He sat at the bar with the newspaper folded in front of him. His brow was furrowed in concentration. He twirled the stub of a pencil between his fingers occasionally touching the side of his head with the tip.
“Damn!” He exclaimed. The pencil dipped to the paper and he scratched something down.
He tapped the pencil on the paper “Fuck!” and he scratched away again.
There was a long stretch where he barely moved, and then writing quickly he mumbled, “Shit.” The other patrons stared at each outburst.
It was kind of vulgar but he always loved “cross” words.

Draw, A 100 Word Story

The pistolero stood at the end of the main street. His hat sat low on his head shielding his eyes from the large orange sun. Behind him off in the distance were huge green three pronged cacti, and jagged grey mountains.
His horse was tethered in front of a tall narrow building that leaned oddly to the left. A crooked, poorly lettered sign over the batwing doors read simply “SALOON”.
At the other end of the street stood a giant green T-rex with a drop of saliva hanging from one triangle tooth.
“Lunchtime!”
Tommy dropped his crayon and ran downstairs.

Till You Drop, A 100 Word Story

The tiny shop was almost empty, not just of customers, but also of merchandise. What little there was was strategically placed on shelves ten feet off the floor or in cages with complicated latches and locks.
There were unrecognizable items in garishly colored boxes with incomprehensible labels in foreign languages.
The hours of operation were eleven-twenty at night until five-ten in the morning.
The clerk was also the store owner. He was surly and spoke little English, not to mention his poor personal hygiene. He never made much money, but he was proud of the concept: the neighborhood inconvenience store.

I don't like the title for this one. Come up with a better title in comments, and I'll give you a writer's credit.

Cold Case, A 100 Word Story

He was in custody… Finally. The DNA and physical evidence had little by little led the cops to his front door. He stood in the lineup completely remorseless, his dark eyes burning with hate, his brow furrowed as if he could see through the two way mirror to where his victims stood.
One by one they were brought in. One by one they each identified him.
Tony, Lucky, Snap, Crackle and Pop all somberly pointed and called his number.
It was the end of the fear, but not of the shame. They had caught the world’s most notorious cereal rapist.

Living Deadly, A 100 Word Story

Eric chambered another round into the .308.
“Like shooting fish in a barrel, eh Jack?”
Blam-blam-blam!
“Uh-huh.”
“Pass me the 12-guage would you?”
“Uh-huh.”
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
“Didn’t I tell you I’d find us a good place to hole up?”
“Uh-huh.”
BOOM!
“Don’t know why I was ever afraid of zombies.”
Blam-blam!
“They’re not so tough with a bullet in their heads, are they Jack?”
“Nuh-uh”
“Hell, I bet I could even take ‘em out with my .40”
Pow-pow-pow!
“Oops, better stick with the long guns, right Jack?”
“Uhhh-huhhh”
“Hand me another magazine, would ya?"
“Uhhhhhh-Huhhhhh.”
“Jack? You OK?”
“Braaaaaaiiiiinnnnsssssss”

Happy Hour, A 100 Word Poem

Bourbon is my favorite drink
Mix it with ice at the kitchen sink
I sip and I swallow and try not to think
About my poor life perched on the brink
One too many and it seems in a blink
My persona is that of some missing link
With the guys I will fight at the girls I will wink
Angry one minute the next tickled pink
Always quite sure that my shit don’t stink
The whole damn time I act like a fink
I drop in more ice with a splash and a clink
Bourbon is my favorite drink

Easy Mark, A 100 Word Story

Wrench and Weasel were a hard pair of evil dudes. They were feeling lucky when Wally walked into that dive bar. Five foot nine and well dressed Wally ordered a martini and paid with a C note.
Sitting down he sobbed, “Cheating bitch.”
Wrench nodded and Weasel asked, “Wanna talk about it?”
After an hour of talking and drinking, Wally was just leaving when Weasel pulled out his pistol.
Wally watched them drive away with his money, his car and the surprise in the trunk. He dialed 911 and screamed, “Two bikers just stole my car and kidnapped my wife…”

Honestly, A 100 Word Story

Commander George Taylor stared aghast at the scene below. Since they had crashed on this God forsaken planet, Dodge had been killed in the hunt and Landon was nowhere to be found.
Taylor tried to fathom what he was seeing. There were hundreds of them… maybe thousands.
The wrinkled simian faces fringed with black fur, the deep set dark eyes, and the long lanky bodies. They were everywhere, splitting logs for fences, giving speeches, and every one of them in a black suit with a stove pipe hat.
Horrified, Taylor knew. They had landed on the Planet of the Abes.

Hard Sell, A 100 Word Work Story

It was a little after dark when he rang the doorbell. The lady who answered didn’t even undo the chain.
“May I help you?” she asked rudely.
“Yes Ma’am,” he said, with his most charming look. “Would you be interested in a demonstration of the most powerful vacuum cleaner on the market?”
She mumbled some excuse as she started closing the door.
He lunged forward, smashing the door open and snapping the chain. He grabbed her, bent her head back and sank his fangs into her throat. Drinking his fill he realized being a vampire vacuum cleaner salesman sucks doubly.

Sun Of Man, A 100 Word Story

It turns out that global warming wasn’t man made after all. That old Sun was just warming up for the big one. First the sun spots came, then the giant solar flares. The oceans boiled down to salt flats as most of the plants and animals died. We managed to finish the space ark just in time. Just a couple of human families, and a cross section of Earth’s flora and fauna… And then, “BOOM” supernova. At least God gave us warning. The Christ figure was being born on another planet, and he needed a star to guide the faithful.

Birthright, A 100 Word Story

Milton was miserable. Hell, he hated his whole life. Computers would fry as soon as his fingers hit the keyboard. Flowers wilted as he cast his shadow upon them. Animals fled at his approach. He couldn’t even find solace in a carton of ice cream, as it melted at the mere touch of his hand.

Things might have been different had his father acknowledged him, for Milton was born into a family of great power. Alas, it was not to be due to a mix up at the hospital. Somewhere in the world a mortal was passing as the antichrist.

Pet Project, A 100 Word Story

Sparky was a good dog. More than that, he was loyal to his owner. He knew some of the things his master did were frowned upon in human terms, but Sparky didn’t care, he was a dog.
Busted for a leash law violation, the cops wanted him to roll over, but he refused. No matter what, he determined in his doggie heart that he was not going to speak.
Then, Detective Spencer came into the interrogation room with the round, fuzzy, yellow object. Sparky realized he was doomed. He knew that eventually he was going to have to play ball.

The Devil You Know, A 100 Word Story

As I climbed out of bed this morning I was brought instantly alert by the shooting pain in my ankle. An imp had crawled out from under the bed and bitten me. I kicked him off and into the closet.
I made my way to the bathroom to clean up my bloody leg and of course there was a succubus lounging in a bubble bath.
Afterwards I opened the refrigerator and two hordlings started throwing cheese at me.
I don’t even want to tell you what’s in the garage.
Everyone has their demons. Why do mine have to manifest physically?

Wizdom: A 100 Word Confession

He was right, you know. I should have known he would be. “Great and Powerful”… He was that all right, and wise too.
I know why I didn’t listen to him. We’d come so far. We all got our wishes. We got what we thought we wanted. I just wish I’d have thought my wish through a little better.
I remember the warning, “As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.”
The Wizard was exactly right.

Embattled, A 100 Word Recollection

Behind the wall at Fredericksburg, this seemed familiar. He knelt and looked at his rifle, déjà vu, but not quite. The actions were the same, but this was a different gun. Last time was older… Flint instead of percussion, musket instead of rifle, still... Looking across the field, the scene wavered. In his mind the men in blue forming up in front of them reminded him of other men in red doing the same.
He never saw the Minnie-ball that caught him in the temple, slinging his dead body to the ground.
In the trench at Messines, this seemed familiar.

Figures, A 100 Word Story

Karla mopped her brow and entered another column of numbers. Her adding machine smoked lightly as her nimble fingers flew over the buttons. She turned to the desktop and entered a damnable series of debits and preciously few credits.

“Figures are off again,” she mumbled, “this is going to take an eternity.”

Her outbox was piled with signed contracts that had been processed, but it seemed that every time her inbox got any lower than overflowing, a grinning demon would wheel in another stack.

It was no picnic being Satan’s chief accountant. It seems there is always Hell to pay.

Propaganda, A 100 Word Story

Wilbur grunted in pain. The operation had left him alive, but weak and very much lighter.

Once he had been so afraid of dying. He and his friends had put in motion the campaign to save his life. Now he was sure that death would have been easier, and much less painful.

He pushed himself up on his remaining three legs, mindful of the missing ribs and the bandage covering the latest “bacon removal”.

Charlotte had done her job well, maybe just a little too well. A pig as special as he is, you don’t eat all at one time.