¿Excúseme?

Many of the 500,000 people who crammed downtown Los Angeles on Saturday to protest legislation that would make criminals out of illegal immigrants learned where, when and even how to demonstrate from the Spanish-language media.

Read that carefully.

OK, once more.

That does say "make criminals out of illegal immigrants". Right?

Imagine, trying to make criminals out of people doing something illegal.

Why don't we just have some nice INS officials checking ID's and green cards before they are allowed to protest... just sayin'.

Because if you want to be a citizen you should know the oath.

I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by law; that I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God. In acknowledgement whereof I have hereunto affixed my signature.
(emphasis mine)

A Moving Experence

Posting will be light for a couple of days, I'm moving. I'm staying in Austin, just moving into a house. A friend of mine got married and is moving in with his wife, I am taking over his house. It's older and on the east side, and I am excited. Especially since he has a big shop with lots of cool power tools to use. WOOO-HOOO! This means a second bedroom in case anyone visits. A yard to play in (plant stuff, work in the dirt &tc). Wednesday is the big day. Wish me luck.

Oh, yeah. Almost forgot. April first will be my five year anniversary in Texas. Not bad for an old road dog. I havn't lived ANYWHERE for more than two since I was 21.

Get A Clue

FREE! A few things you should know about the real world:

Making it harder to get legal guns does not deter criminals nor lower crime rates, it just creates more helpless victims.

More laws do not lower crime rates, they just make more things illegal.

Giving someone something extra because of the color of their skin or their heritage is just as racist as withholding something from them for the same reasons.

People are more likely to take your political views seriously if you bathe somewhat regularly, and change clothes every so often.

There are no "do-overs" in real life.

There is no such thing as "Fake but Accurate".

Yes, it would be nice if the whole world would live in harmony. No, it won't happen any time soon.

To the Islamofascist (Koranimal... Ha!) you are an infidel and you must die. No, it doesn't matter to them if you hate Bush, you are still an infidel, and you must die.

Pelosi, Dean, Kerry. No, I guess three lefts don't make a right.

There is no such thing as free health care. Somebody has to pay for it. That somebody is the people who work for a living. We don't want to. Besides, do you want the same people who came up with the DMV and the IRS responsible for your health?

Saddam Hussein's army has killed more Iraqis than George Bush's.

These are the left wing mantras: Bush is an idiot. He fooled the liberal politicians into going to war. Does that mean the liberal politicians were fooled by an idiot? Or are they liars? Which is worse?

Homelessness increases as fast or faster than the support we give the homeless. Maybe there is a correlation.

Hitler was a socialist. That's what Nazi stands for: National Socialist Party. Mussolini was a fascist. Bush is a Republican and a capitalist.

Hitler was a vegetarian.

Protesting soldiers that were injured fighting for your freedom to protest makes you look like an asshole.

No one is a bigger pain in the ass than someone who is trying to make you do something "for your own good". If you are this person, stop.

One country that did not have a big anti-war protest last week: Iraq.

Working at McDonald's is not beneath you if accepting welfare isn't.

Historically democracies have relatively short lives. Communist and socialist countries have even shorter ones.

Reality TV is an oxymoron.

Burning Bush

Being a conservative in a very liberal area I catch a lot of crap from friends and aquaintences. Well... not a LOT, I do have plenty of conservative friends. (Whoda thunk ten years ago that when refering to my friends "con" would mean conservative not convict?) ANY-how, one thing that I hear so much of (from friends, on the radio, in bars &tc) is how "All you conservatives blindly follow Bush and his administration, no matter what he says". One word... BULLSHIT! I have a lot of problems with the Bush administration. I am just so distracted defending it from all the made-up wonky MSM-Air America-Al "if I only had a brain" Franken-Cindy "it's all about meeeee" Sheehan-Hollywood is smarter than you garbage that I rarely have enough energy left to point out its real honest to God failings. And it has plenty.
First off I should say that I am more of a financial conservative than a social one. Gay marriage? Big deal. I'm pretty damn sure that homosexuals couldn't do any more harm to the "sanctity of marriage" than all those divorced heterosexuals did. Me included. That is more of a religious argument, and religion is not my department. That being said even with his tax cuts Bush's people spend money like a drunk at a strip joint. Get the Hell out of my wallet. Where the Hell is all the cheap oil that the lefties scream we went to war for? Why are we still pouring money into that Amway pyramid scam we call "social security"? How about a little personal security? What part of SMALL government do you people not understand? Screw hybrid and hydrogen cars. Drill for that oil in Alaska. I hear Mexico has oil.
Speaking of Mexico, isn't there supposed to be a border there? Why do we have hundreds of private citizens patroling Arizona's southern border? Because the government we elected DOESN'T. You call 'em vigelantes, I call 'em concerned citizens. You want them to stop? Put some troops down there, build a wall, dig a ditch- SOMETHING. Calling them "undocumented workers" doesn't change that they are "Illegal aliens"... Get that? ILLEGAL. Against the law. You remember law, right? I am not against imigration, it built this country. I oppose ILLEGAL imigration. Let them come, just make them do it the right way. Sneaking into this country to get the benefits that I pay for is stealing from me. Get that? Stealing. That's why it's illegal, damnit.
The war. You call that a war? I call that babysitting. Kick the media the Hell out of there, do what needs to be done to get rid of the bad guys, get their government rolling, get the hell out. We are getting our soldiers killed by all this peacekeeping BS. They are trained soldiers. Let them fight. Bush the elder didn't help anything by halting at the border with a stern warning the first time either.
Katrina? I blame the president. What? No, not Bush, Jefferson. If he hadn't bought that fetid swampland way back when, that could very well have been all France's problem.
Each and every one of those examples is a big picture of a lot of small problems. I follow no one blindly. That is why I am a conservative. I don't trust the media to tell me the whole truth, I don't think the high school dropouts in Hollywood should make policy, I don't go along with the crowd. I read. I research. I think. I pay attention to the world around me. That's why I think even with all his faults, he was a better choice than than the other guy. Both times.

The Price of Good Behavior

Last night I went out to the pub. A combination of things made me do things a little more safely than usual. My normal attitude is "damn the torpedoes full speed ahead", but last night was different. St. Patrick's Day durring South by Southwest on a Friday night... This is not the time to tempt fate... So, I called a cab. My friend Sean's dad (an expert on Irish luck- see post fromMarch 17th) Is wont to say "No good deed goes unpunished" Sean and I discussed making one of those motivational posters with a picture of a couple of guys pushing a car out of the mud and being thoroughly splattered with the spin off from the back tire and "No Good deed..." well you know... but I digress.
I got home last night at 6:40 and called Austin Cab at 6:45. "Yes, I need a cab from north Austin to 6th St. Forty-five minutes? Yes, that'll be great." Cool, time for a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches and change into my favorite Guinness T-Shirt.
An hour and a half later I started to get concerned. I called Austin Cab. "Are you the guy in North Austin? Sorry we're running a little behind" I ask how much longer "Please hold a second" Then I swear without even muting the phone she says, "Yes, I need a cab to go to North Austin to pick up a customer" WHAT?! 45 minutes PAST the 45 minutes I was told and they are JUST NOW paging a cab!! Never one to be known for my patience I started to become upset. How long will it be? "It will be a while, sir" OK, That's it.
I can see the spittle flying from my own mouth, feel my heart rate increase and myself crushing my cell phone as I begin to yell, "WOULD YOU MIND DEFINING A F**KING WHILE? IS A WHILE SHORTER OR LONGER THAN THE EXTRA FORTY-F**KING-FIVE MINUTES YOU'VE KEPT ME WAITING? I JUST WANT TO KNOW SO I CAN TELL YOUR BOSS TOMORROW WHEN I CALL HIM. IF YOU ARE NOT F**KING COMING TELL ME NOW AND I'LL JUST GO TO F**KING BED"
At this point I should probably tell you this is not some $2.00 hop for a few blocks, this is a $25.00 (min) cab ride, you'ld think they'd be happy about it.
"10 minutes sir." I managed a tight "thank you" through gritted teeth. 10 minutes to the dot my phone rings "Sir he's on the way he'll be there in just a minute." That will be just fine, that's all I wanted.
Two and a half hours and $30 later I'm standing in line at the pub. The good news is I can text message a friend inside to order my first pint so it will be waiting.
Not much about the evening, it was a good time.
Left the pub around midnight and walked over to 5th st to grab a cab home. Called the cab co. Need a cab at 5th and San Jacinto. "OK" and they hung up. every cab that came by had someone in it. Joined by several other people hailing cabs. still none stop. Everyone pulls out cell phones and call. Every time the answer is "OK" and thirty minutes later no cabs have stopped. Ten calls from one corner and no cab. Thirty mins after that I hook up with another friend going north. We walk to the hotel where her sister works to get the sister to call one for us. This is a four star hotel. She informs us that the cab companies (all of them) are taking reservations, but not keeping them. Thirty minutes later we finally grab a cab just coming on duty and thirty minutes and $30 after that I get home. Now I know why people drink and drive. (where is he going with this?) here ya go.

They say that people drink and drive an average of 350 times before they are caught. The average cost to get out of a DUI or DWI is $5000.00 plus incidental expenses.
Average time spent in custody for a DUI or DWI is 24 hours.

To call a cab 350 times from north Austin to 6th st would cost $10,500.00 Double that to get home each time and it becomes $21,000.00 give or take tips. I spent a two hour wait each way, but even if you halve that the wait time for 350 cab rides is 700 hours (or 29 days)

It is never a good idea to drink and drive, but it may be cost beneficial.

Irish I's

My friends and I have a saying. Irish luck isn't good luck, Irish luck is getting the best of a bad situation. Irish luck is stepping in a pile of dog shit while wearing your old shoes. I have had the heap of Irish luck lately. Bad judgement, big bills, and bad timing have combined to kick my butt.

As such, I have been going out very little lately, but tonight is St. Pat's. It's funny that in America St. Patrick's day is parties and drinking and green beer (Green beer is just a bad idea by the way) but in Ireland it is a day for prayer and reflection. I have had enough prayer and reflection these past weeks. Tonight I'll be at B.D. Rileys quaffing pints of Guinness, singing poorly, dancing badly, telling bad jokes and stories. It's all about the craic. (say crack) A good time will be had by most. I have a lot of memories and stories attached to St. Paddy's... Too many to tell, so I won't. Be safe, Have fun and...

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Wierd Thought

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not really out to get you.

I've been in Austin for 5 years at the end of this month. I've held two jobs durring that time. I have been through 9,000 (Nine Thousand) business cards in that time. So, theoreticaly there are thousands of people in central Texas walking around with my name printed on a little piece of cardboard... And possibly thousands more in local landfills. (cards not people) Not to mention the thousands of cards I handed out in other states and locations for other jobs. Business cards, personal cards, HS graduation cards, phone numbers on napkins and in address books, on speed dials and cell phones, resumes, letters, post cards, time cards, registration cards, airline tickets, speeding tickets...

Who has your name?

Re-Marg-able

Margi is one of my best friends from college. I think at one time she may have been a sweet little girl, but by the time I met her she was a bartender at the Wash Pub, a laundrymat/lounge combination in Greenville, NC frequented by ex-cons and lowlifes. I was one of them. I had a pretty big hand in turning her to the dark side, but we never dated. I did one or ten times call her while a date still was with me and put the two of them on together to chat. (yeah I know, I said I was a lowlife.) I think if we had ever become more than friends we would have killed each other, as it was we had a few doozies of fights. We always came back together again though. I helped her move... several times, I did stuff around the house for her, protected her from other lowlifes (lower even than me), and pissed off all of her boyfriends... all of them... Every one... as often as possible.
I also became "token guy". This can be a hateful gig sometimes, it can also be a blast if you handle it right. For those who don't know, a "token guy" goes along on a girl's night out. NOT as one of the group, but as a chauffeur/bodyguard. My job was to sit at the end of the bar and watch them for the forefinger-thumb L for loser sign. Then I would come over and pretend to be boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, old friend, brother, whatever until the loser goes away. Then I would go back to the bar and drink and watch. Once I had found a wedding band on the beach and wore it on my right hand until it got lost... (By lost I mean stolen and sold for drugs by an ex-roomate) a week or so later at the Attic Margs was being hit on by this big redneck. I went over grabbed the beer he had bought for her and took a big 'ol swig of it. He looked down at me and said, "I bought that for her" I held up my left hand with the newly transfered shiny gold band and asked why he was buying my wife beers. I'm not sure how far he thought he would get buying a girl Millwalkee's Beast anyway. I was not allowed to make any moves on the carload of drunk girls I was with, but in return I got set up on dates &tc. Margi in particular pimped me out on multiple occasions.

One of my jobs back in the old days was QA Inspector for a company that made cases for Night Vision goggles for the military. We also made and assembled hardside gun cases and the like. I only worked there for a short time, but one of the things they tried to get into was Maritime Emergency Lights. Basicly a MEL was an encased lightbulb (sometimes xenon) with a lithium battery. Watertight bubble with exposed contact points. If you made the connection, say with your fingers, the light would come on. They were designed to light up when they were emersed in liquid, ie over the side of a boat. One Friday I put a handfull of them in my Jacket pockets to play with over the weekend. I went out for Pizza with the guys. We ordered a pitcher of beer. I dropped one of the lights in, and called the waitress back to the table. "Hey, I think you gave us light Beer" She looked down into the pitcher and was shocked to see the brew glowing golden. (I sometimes wonder how often my food used to get spit on... and maybe still does. Hmmmm.)
Saturday Margs gave me a call. One of those "token guy" deals. I picked up the girls and off we went to the bars. I was drinking Bourbon and Coke (some things don't change) remembered the lights in my pocket and dropped one in my drink. Bing! Suddenly I'm more than Token Guy. I passed these things out to all the girls, and sat back to watch. Margs was the best. She had ordered this big dark drink in a Bahama Mama glass and had one of those lights in it... It was glowing red in the center... And she was explaining to everyone that it was a layered drink and they set one of the middle layers on fire, then poured the rest on top. A couple bartenders must have gone nuts trying to figure out what those people were trying to order.
Margs is a little waif of a girl and she was wearing a white blouse and a lace bra. By the end of the night she was surrounded by a big group of guys and my protective instincts kicked in. I pushed my way to the front of the group in time to see Margs with her "high beams" on. She had two of those lights inside her bra, and every time one of them would go out she'd take it out and lick it to make it come back on. I think she was hated by every girl in the bar that hadn't come with us by the time we left.
I don't really have a good ending for this story, It never really ends. I still talk to her from time to time. We're both still evil people. I sure do miss her.

*(I took the above picture of margi at her house when I was hanging something or fixing something. She wouldn't ever let me take a picture of her, so I cheated. It's out of focus and blurry, but it's one of my favorite pictures that I ever took.)

side note: Just so you know Rabbit, you're next...

Today's Palindrome

Go hang a salami mom, I'm a lasagna hog.