Human Trail Mix

It's finally here. The Austin Blown-Eyed blog meet. A bunch of fruits and nuts all in the same bag. I, unfortunately, will miss the opening ceremonies tonight at the Salt-Lick, due to the fact a pal of mine got me a ticket to see Joe Satriani and Eric Johnson at the Paramount Theater tonight. Two guitar gods and not a bad seat in the house. Thanks Austin. (the person not the place) I will later wander over to the blodger-lodgings to see if I can't meet a few of the freaks like me. I will miss the shoot-a-thon tomorrow because of work, but plan to spend more time with this ecclectic bunch Saturday night.

OK, I got bourbon, beer, 12ga, .380 sidearm, rubber boots, a catcher's mask and half a pool cue with electrical tape wrapped around one end for grip. I think I'm ready. Wooo-hoo!

The End of Immortality

I'm really not that old, am I? 36, almost 37 isn't old is it? I've done a couple of dumb things lately... not that they were dumb to do, just dumb for ME to do. One didn't really get to me, the other... Well...
First, everybody gets those stupid "classmates.com" pop-ups. I had gone there before, just to see who's on. No big deal. I really probably wouldn't care to actually get in touch with any of those people anymore. No animosity or anything, just I have nothing more than passing interest, at best, in them now. So I saw the pop-up, I thought about it for a while, I went to the site... I saw "Prepare for your 20 year reunion!" I thought, "20 year reunion"? Wasn't I just 20 years old a few years ago?
All along I'd been thinking how much experience I had gained in my short lifetime. My lifetime hasn't really been that short anymore. I'm staring down the barrel at forty. OK, I got a grip. Fat and forty ain't so bad. I have a great job for the most part. I have a Jeep that I love. If I applied myself and quit doing stupid things I could actually afford to get a new motorcycle. The days of Budweisers and backroads are behind me, and that's a good thing.
Then there was this other thing.
Did you ever Google someone's name to see if they're out there somewhere? Don't. Just don't. It probably wouldn't have bothered me if it hadn't been for the 20 year reunion, but there you go. I Googled my first true love. The first one that ever made my cold, hateful little heart go all a twitter. I had punched in her name a few times over the years as a lark with no results. The last that I had heard of her was almost ten years ago second hand at a wedding, back when I was still in wedded bliss of my own... or a reasonable facsimilie thereof. There it was, in the cold light of the flat screen moniter, her wedding anouncement... For next month. First it made me sad, then I realized that it didn't make me all that sad, and that made me sad. It wouldn't have hit me all that hard but for the fact that I screwed it up between us. No one to blame but me. Then, I got a second chance... And blew it all over again. Badly. Painfully. Finally.
You know, I don't think I'd have blinked twice if she had been already married, be it for years or for days. It was the fact that it was about to happen, and soon. I mean, it's not as though I was going to call her and anounce my undying love for her. I'm not even sure I know what undying love is these days. Hell, I haven't even seen her since before she was old enough to drink and she is in her 30's now. She's not the same girl I hurt so many years ago any more than I am the same dumb kid. Because, I sure as Hell am not a kid, nor am I nearly the same. I'm just still dumb.
I used to think that I was going to live forever. Now, I'm afraid that I might.


Karen, she's the silver sun,
best walk her way and watch her shining,
watch her watch the morning come.
A silver tear appearing now,
I'm crying... ain't I...
-James Taylor


UPDATE: The Silver Sun

Deserve's Got Nuthin' To Do With It

I can sum up the main problem with the United States if not the world in one word. Entitlement. The firm belief that some people (maybe even most people) have that they are owed something. Rights. It's my right. Give me my due.

I have been robbed twice in a little over a week. The cops showed up at my house last night because my neighbors saw someone jump my fence. They were going to try to hit me again, and I was at home. Why would someone be so blatent? Because I have more than they do, and they feel it's OK to take part of it. After all I won't miss it, I have so much, I make more money, I can buy more to replace it.

You know why I have more money, more stuff? I gave up my life for it. I work 60-70 and sometimes 80 hours a week for it. I have no wife, no girlfriend, no dog. I have a few friends whom I rarely get to see because I'm at work. I missed the opening game Red Sox vs Rangers (free ticket) because I was at work. I visit my family, my 81 year old mother less than once a year because I'm at work. I do this blog from work. My house got robbed last Tuesday while I was at work. I suppose the robber doesn't have a job because he robbed me during business hours. He doesn't need a job, I gave him a guitar, three bottles of whiskey and a jar full of change, because I wasn't at home. I gave him a CD player and some tools because I have a Jeep with no top. He was coming back to make another withdrawal from the bank of Knine... Maybe a DVD player or a TV.

That's one of the biggest things that kills me about all the politicians for this "undocumented worker amnesty" bullshit. "They do the work Americans won't do" Well you pompus piece of offal, the reason American's won't do it is because we pay them not to. Why in Hell do we have unemployment at the same time we have "jobs that American's won't do"? Because we have created a generation of "entitled people". They want their welfare check. They want their unemployment benefits. The government owes me. You owe me. Illegal aliens want the right to break the law. We owe it to them because we took Texas and Arizona and California away from them 160 years ago. We owe people of African decent reperations because of an institution that ended 140 years ago.
I have a question, What the fuck have you done to rise above what happened to your ancestors? As far as I'm concerned the only thing you're entitled to is the same thing I'm entitled to... What you earn.

If you want stuff like mine, get off your ass and earn it, don't try to take mine... because if I catch you trying to take mine, I am going to try to make you pay very dearly indeed. I will try to make you pay for every shit job I've done, every asshole boss, every missed weekend, every angry customer who yelled at me. Right now jackoff, the only thing I owe you is a beating.

*Bonus points if you know where this post's title came from.

Homely

OK, all moved in. I will be unpacking boxes for the next month, but I'm in. I got my welcome to the neighborhood last week when yet another CD player was stolen out of my Jeep... in my yard... under a shelter... 10 feet from my kitchen. I'm a little bummed as this was a nicer (read more expensive) player. I can only assume officer helpful and his partner were up north where I had no CD players stolen for a year and a half. Luckily the disk in it was a burned one of Todd Snider songs from various other disks I still own.
On the bright side the neighbors behind me own and run Boggy Creek Organic Vegitable Farm. A nice 6 acre garden right there in the middle of east Austin. Wednesday and Saturday are market days, and there is fresh bread, goat dairy products (goat milk is really good in coffee, and goes very nicely with Baileys, and the homemade goat-milk ice cream is just awesome), fresh eggs and veggies.
Grizzie really digs the front yard too.

Beer Tagged

I have a stupid little thing I do when I'm out for a drink and in a wierd mood. When the bartender asks what I want, I answer "Something just like me, cold dark alcoholic and just slightly bitter". This usually evokes the response of "Huh?" At which point I ask for a Guinness. Most bar people get it. Some even know to just get me a Vitamin G without my asking for one. I know it's silly and juvenile, but I don't care.
I was at the Ginger Man not long ago and in one of my moods. Gingerman has tons of beer on tap. Dark, light. Stouts, ales, pilsners. I proped myself against the bar and the barmaid came over and asked, "What'll ya have?" I started off, "Something just like me..." at which point she held up her hand palm out, sized me up and down with that vertical scan all good barmaids have, looked straight into my baby blues and said...

with conviction...

"Arrogant Bastard."

On A Roll

Time for some reader input. Over on the right I have a blogroll, links to stuff I read & like. It needs a little spiffing up. Some links are defunct (Nation of Riflemen), some need re-directing (Curmudgeonly & Skeptical). I don't want a big huge blogroll because then no-one hits them all. So... I know which ones are going away, and which ones will be changed. What I need to know is: What links would you like to see put up there? Your blog - Their blog? Drop me some suggestions, I'll check 'em out. If they pass muster, they're added. It's that simple. I'll give it a week or so and then change them all at once. If someone has already suggested one you like, ditto it, it will make it more likely to be chosen even if I don't become a huge fan.

*I'm leaving Bellerophonechimera on there even though it's stagnant. He may come back, he may not, but he has some pretty deep stuff on there that bears reading more than once.

Thatisall.